Blessing 5: Gods Reassurance

I love how God confirms within me that what He has directed me to do is actually what I am suppose to be doing. When I had the idea to list out things I am thankful for, not just for 30 days but for a year, I was hesitant, but it was a thought in my mind that wasn't going away. So I decided to start it but still a little unsure if this is something that was for me or was it something God was wanting me to do to help me have a stronger appreciation for Him. As always, God is faithful to wipe away any doubt.

Today's devotion that I read was titled "Blessed Beyond Measure" It was about how, as women, are lives are so busy with day to day things that we sometimes just forget to stop an thank our Creator for all that He has given to us. When we take the time to stop and thank Him and praise Him we are actually enrich our lives more and those around us. How it is good for us to make list of what we are thankful for so that we realize all that He has blessed us with.

Thank you Lord for your direction in my life and for always being faithful to give me that extra assurance when I need it. Lord, your love for me is beyond any measurement I can express. I pray this list over the next year will open my eyes more to all that you do for me. Amen!

Blessing 4: Safe and Uneventful Travel

Today we traveled back home after the Thanksgiving holiday. Needless to say after the REALLY long trip over due to traffic upon traffic, we were praying for no traffic today. Thankfully the good Lord gave us just that along with two girls who happily played together, watched movies and even both took at nap at the same time. Man, can you ask for more than that!!!!

Thank you Lord for delivering us safely home and for giving us a day of no drama and no traffic. God is good!

Blessing 3: Potato Soup

Tonight I get to have my mom's potato soup. This is not a big thankful item, but sometimes it is the little things we forget to appreciate and this is one of them for me. It is one of my favorite things my mom cooks. I am sitting in her kitchen now as I type this and I smell it cooking on the stove. Yum!!!! Can't wait until it is done and I will have a big bowl. :)

Thank you Lord for a mom who loves to cook and can bless me with her yummy potato soup!

Blessing 2: Being Content

I am thankful that I can be content with where I am in life and what I have in life. Not always needing and wanting more things. Don't get me wrong there are things I want or would like to have but I am thankful that if even I never acquire them I am still happy and beyond blessed.

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me" Philippians 4:11-13.

Counting My Blessings - A Year of Thanks.

I have a had a thought in my head for the past couple of days. I have really been humbled by several things lately. Different situations that I have been exposed to that have really made me stop and think about just how blessed I am in life. I have also been praying and talking with God about somethings I feel He may be starting to work or reveal in my life or really in our life....but I am not ready to share these things yet. Still praying and waiting for God to confirm within both Chris and I that this is what he wants for us to do. So until then....we will wait and trust Him to lead us.

So back to my main thought of being humbled by what I have in my life. We sang an old hymn at church on Sunday where it says "count your many blessing, name them one by one....then you will see all that God has done".  I know I have so many things to be thankful for but sometimes I don't think that I really stop and realize what they are so what I want to do is a Year of Thanks on my blog. I want to list out all of the things I am thankful for between now and next Thanksgiving 2012. I am hoping in by doing so I will truly have a Thankful heart in any situation that may come, good or bad.

Today on Thanksgiving I am going to kick this off.

Blessing 1:

I am thankful for my family, not just Chris, Katie and Bree but for my parents, brother, sister in law and nephew. This is the first Thanksgiving that we have spent with my family in three years. We have been too far away in the past to make it, but this year I am thankful to be here. Spend time with them and just appreciate the time we have with each other. There is an empty space for us all now, where Brad is not with us, but we know that in spirit he was with us today. As we sit to eat and I have dressing on my plate, I smile and think of how much he loved mom's dressing and would always have two or three or four pieces of it. Thankful for memories like that one to help us keep him with us.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and were able to spend time with your loved ones!.

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

When Things Fall Apart

So, it has been a few months since I posted here. Starting this year I had better intentions of blogging more on this blog. My last blog was about are upcoming move to NC....well shortly after our move here my world was rocked and so was my faith in God. Today is the first time I have felt like I can sit down and hopefully write this in a way it makes sense. So bare with me....I have lots of thoughts going on in this brain of mine.

It is easy to love God when life is great and I have to say for my 34 years on this earth my life has been great. I haven't really had any major upsets in my life. I have had ups and downs just like anyone, but compared to most my life has been smooth sailing. Up until just a few months ago. When a phone call I received kicked me in the gut and forever change my life and my families life. Granted, in my heart I knew this call was coming but none the less it was a call I wasn't prepared for. As most of you know this was the call from my sister-in-law to let me know that Brad had passed away. I will never forget the sadness in Kim's voice as she told me...honestly I don't really remember much else about that call or that day except I just felt like I was living in dream.

As of that day a journey started for me. One that I now know God has been preparing me to take over the past 34 years of my life. "Sometimes you have to get a different perspective" quote from the movie Soul Surfer. When things are up close and personal you sometimes can't see what is right in front of you.

Over the past 3 months, I have struggled hard with my faith. I felt lost and I couldn't feel God anymore, which really scared me. Here I am going through one of the hardest things ever and God isn't here. I would just sit and stare at my bible...knowing that if I would just read I would find comfort, but nothing came. I would just sit and have no words to pray. Seriously....what in the world is wrong with me. I should just be able to pour my heart out right now and let God be there for me. As I struggled through this back and forth of where is God....

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  I was able to email some of my friends in OK and tell them of my struggles and ask them to pray for me. I knew that these women I emailed would pray and not just a prayer of " Lord, please be with Jenn today and help her", but a prayer that would surround and comfort me and I knew they would pray not only once for me but continuously. They sent words of encouragement. There was God!


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  I started to read a book a friend wrote and something within that book encouraged me. I wrote her an email and shared some of my thoughts with her. She replied back with pray and encouragement. She said "take time to grieve, everything you are feeling and thinking is normal. God can handle the anger and questions". There was God!


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  A friend I have had for over 10 years, who I worked with, lost her brother years ago. She has been there to give me encouragement and pray for me through all of this. There was God!


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  The other night I was on the phone with my best friend. We were talking about a situation she has been going through and how it has come to a time to let this dream of hers go. She was sad and upset and questioning so many things. She was grieving the loss of a dream to have another child and I have been grieving the loss of my brother. Even though these are two different things we both have been grieving in our life's, but that night on the phone we were able to talk about so many things and how life just isn't fair and we don't understand the plan that God has for us sometimes. To me it was amazing that at this time in our lives we both were going through heartbreaking events and if it weren't for circumstances that happened almost 13 years ago, her and I probably would not have crossed paths. But we did and now because of that friendship we were able to comfort each other that night on the phone. There was God!

My point of sharing these little stories is that even though I thought I wasn't able to feel or see God during this time, He has been there. We just need a different perspective. Most of my adult life, I have moved a lot with Chris to various states. In every city God has blessed me with lifelong friends. Friends that are now at this point in my life helping to keep me standing, helping me get through the stage in my life. It was not an accident that I met each of these wonderful people, it was God's plan.

Job 2:11: When Job's three friends.....heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.

God has allowed me to build up these wonderful friendships because He knew at this time in my life I would struggle with my faith and I would need encouragement from those who loved me. I would need to see God through them and I am so thankful they help show Him to me. To remind me that even though God my feel absent from my life, He is not. He has always been there for me and will be, even when things fall apart. God is drawing me closer to Him during all of this, even though I struggle to handle all of this on my own. He is trying to show me that I need Him more than I think I do. Sometimes it takes the rug being pulled out from under you to really show you how much we need to lean on Him.

There is a song on the radio called Fall Apart by Josh Wilson. Click here to watch the you tube video of this song. I love to share songs that really help me as my hope is that maybe it will reach someone else. Anyway, the very first lines of this song are :

"Why in the world did I think I could, Only get to know you when live was good, When everything just falls in place, The easiest thing to do is give you praise"When I heard this song, I thought "hello, that has been my life".

I have never had to really depend on God to get me through any major life changing event. I haven't given God the chance to show me and help me understand just how AMAZING His love can be.My prayer through all of this is that I will know God more and I will grow closer to Him more than I have ever been. I don't think I will ever understand why this all happened the way it did. I can tell you I am not even close to the point of acceptance of this yet. But I can tell you that God is okay with that, He understands it better than any of us. I know that He is holding my hand through it all. I do praise Him for all that he has blessed me with and all of my amazing friends and family that been there for me during all of this. You are loved and cherished more than I can ever express.

"The Lord makes firm the steps of those who delight in him; though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord upholds them with his hand" Psalm 37:23-24.

Moving Foward......

Nothing like major life decisions to make you realize just how much we need to depend on God. This past month I have had some heart to heart conversations with God. When life is going along smoothly I seemed to "think" that I don't really need to have those day to day conversations with Him. No doubt the smoothness of live at times is a blessing, but I can say that when times come that our completely out of our control that is when God steps in, if we allow him to, and will use these moments to build us up to be stronger in faith, stronger in character, and a little bit closer to being more like Christ.

I can say over this past month I can see some of those changes. As Chris and I went through the past couple of week trying to decide whether to accept this job in NC or not, we battled so many things. The first and really the most major one was are we doing God's will. We questioned so many things, we couldn't understand why God would want us to leave a place where we were serving him so faithfully, we had great friends, love teaching the youth, love being apart of Upwards, Hug Away and so many other things. The girls have great friends, well I could go on with a long list of reasons why we didn't want to move. Honestly, I was a little anger at God. I just didn't understand why. I didn't and don't want to leave those we have grown to love here, but I know that God has much greater plans for us. He never promised that following His will would be easy, but His promise is that He would never leave us. At the end of last week, God had brought us full circle. We were at peace, we realized that what he was asking of is was an honor, a privilege. He knows that even though Chris and I don't want to leave and that it is breaking our hearts to leave, He knows that we are strong enough. We can handle it. He will be there with us every step of the way and we will pray and seek Him in ever step of this move so that we are walking in His path that He has laid out before us. Joyfully going forward and ready to continue to do His work. I can say that even though it is sad to leave I am so excited about is ahead of us....new church, new friends, new ministries to serve in...the possibilities are endless and I am so thankful for that. So on to a new adventure!!!!